Please Read This
A crash course on what you need to know!!
Consent
Consent is when one person agrees to or gives permission to another person to do something.
- It does not have to be a sexual situation
- Consent should be enthusiastic. ("Maybe", "I guess", and "okay" are not *enthusiastic* consent).
- Examples of things you could give OR take away consent for: touching, calling you nicknames, rules, the way a person interacts with you, things done with or to your mind, body, or things
- If you do not give someone consent to do something and they do it anyways, they may be over stepping on your boundaries or limits
Boundaries
A boundary is a limit you can set on what you will accept of another person's words or actions.
- You can make a boundary about anything involving your mind, body, emotions, or things.
- A boundary is usually an I statement. (I.E. *I* don't want to be touched, *I* don't want to go out, *I* don't want to get a dog)
- It is very important that you get to know what your boundaries are and verbalize them in a dom/sub dynamic
- A boundary can be changed, removed, or added by the person making them at any time
Rules
A rule is a guide or principle for conduct or action
- Rules can be made about anything that the people making and following the rules consent to
- It is unfair for one person to make a rule and expect another person to follow said rule if they do not consent to it
- This applies to rules between a dominant and submissive as well.
- A person can remove consent for a rule at any time, without the other person's consent
- Rules can be changed or added with all participating people's consent at any time
- A rule is usually an You statement. (I.E. *You* can't touch anyone, *You* can't go out, *You* can't get a dog)
Dom and Sub Red Flags
Here are some easy to spot red flags
- Calling you an honorific (Mommy, Daddy, Little One, Sweety, My Pet, etc) without asking you first
- Making rules for you before you have agreed to be in a dynamic or done any vetting
- Talking to you in a "baby voice" upon first meeting
- Talking to you like you are a baby upon first meeting
- Demanding money
- Not respecting your boundaries
- Refusing to vet before getting in a dynamic
- Refusing to use safe words
- Asking when they can be your little or Mommy/Daddy when you've just met
- Talking about wanting to move in with you when you haven't been talking for very long
- If they ignore you as a punishment without your consent
- If they refuse to show you their face through pictures or videos. Some people are really shy or self conscious, but if you’ve been talking for 2 weeks+ and still have no idea what they look like, you may be being catfished.
Safewords
Safewords are words serving as a prearranged signal to end an activity or to check in with someone
- Safewords should be agreed on before any form of play happens
- Safewords don't have to mean "stop", they can mean anything you and your partner agree upon
- Safewords are important in all forms of dynamics (short term, long term, sexual, nonsexual, and even platonic) due to many things that could occur unplanned. Such as overwhelm, deep sub space, anxiety, unintentional triggers, and other things.
Bratting
Bratting is the act of consciously disobeying or testing a partner to get a reaction out of them
- Bratting must be consented to by the person being bratted at
- Bratting should not be too intentionally make someone upset. It should be a fun experience for both parties.
- A person consenting to be bratted at may make limits or boundaries about what is okay to brat about
- Bratting should not include pushing boundaries
Punishments and Rules
A rule between a dominant and a submissive must be agreed upon by both the dom and submissive.
A punishment must also, be agreed upon by both the dominant and submissive.
- Punishments usually occur after a submissive breaks a rule.
- Punishments should be discussed while rules are being made (before any rules have been broken)
- Punishments can be anything that both parties agree to.
- Punishments require consent before they occur
- Punishments should not be given while angry, and instead used as a learning tool to encourage the submissive not to break a rule again
How To Get More Comfortable In The Community
1. Ask questions. No question is a bad question and Ms. S is always happy to help!
2. Read about this new side of yourself. There are plenty of articles and forums out there.
3. Go to an ageplay or petplay event if you can.
4. Join servers like this one. If you can find one that allows little roleplay, it’s a good way to get a feel for the headspace.
5. Find your little age! You can take a quiz here
Vetting
Vetting is the time you take to get to know a potential dom, sub, or switch. This time is used to get to know eachother, what type of dom or sub each person is, what expectations both have for the dynamic, and to make sure both people are who they say they are. During this time, there is no actual dynamic, titles are not used, and there are no rules set for the submissive. It’s similar to dating. Vetting can take anywhere from 24 hours to 2+ years, but I recommend a minimum of 2 weeks of vetting for safety!
Basic Terms
All of these terms are what we have learned over the last several years, some of these definitions are flexible within the community and mean different things to different people. If you aren't sure, please ask the person you're talking with for their definition.
Adult Baby Diaper Lover: (ABDL) Someone who enjoys dressing and behaving like a baby, usually while wearing diapers. This may be sexual or nonsexual.
Diaper Lover: (DL) Someone who enjoys adult diapers, wearing or not. This can be sexual or nonsexual.
Age Regression: Regressing to a younger mindset where the person has the thoughts and maturity of a younger mindset. This is strictly nonsexual
Ageplay: Pretending to be a different age than your actual age. This can be sexual or nonsexual. Some people (like our website) use this as an all encompassing word to include all levels of regression, little space, and ageplay
Baby/Little/Middle/Teen/Pet Space: A headspace where an adult has relaxed to a more vulnerable, carefree state of mind. This usually where the baby, little, middle, teen, and/or pet side really comes out. This can be sexual or nonsexual
Adult Baby: (AB) Someone who enjoys behaving or regression and being treated as the age between newborn and 1 years old.
Little: Someone who enjoys behaving or regression and being treated as the age between 1 and 5 years old.
Middle: Someone who enjoys behaving or regression and being treated as the age between 6 and 12 years old.
Teen: Someone who enjoys behaving or regression and being treated as the age between 13 and 17 years old.
Pet: Someone who enjoys regressing or behaving and being treated like an animal.
Handler: A person who takes care of a Pet
Daddy: A person who takes care of an Adult baby, little, middle, or teen (usually, but not always “male” identifying)
Mommy: A person who takes care of an Adult baby, little, middle, or teen (usually, but not always “female” identifying)
Caregiver: A gender neutral version of “Mommy” or “Daddy”
Vetting: The time before before being in a dynamic with someone where you get to know a person. It’s time used to make sure someone is who they say they are and what their dynamic style is.
Messing: Pooping in a diaper
Wetting: Peeing in a diaper
DDLG/DDLB: Daddy Dom & Little Girl / Daddy Dom and Little Boy
MDLG/MDLB: Mommy Domme & Little Girl / Mommy Domme & Little Boy
CGL: Caregiver & Little
agere: Age regression
Dom or Domme: (dominant) The person who consensually takes control in the dynamic. Dom tends to be used to refer to someone who is masculine, and Domme tends to refer to someone who is feminine, though Dom is usually the default.
Sub: (submissive) The person who consensually gives control in the dynamic
Switch: Someone who switches between being submissive and dominant
Brat: Someone who enjoys pushing their Dom’s buttons and breaking rules in order to tease their dom. This is intended to be fun for both parties and not intended to make the dom upset
A Caregiver or Handler is usually the dominant one in the dynamic, but there are submissive Caregivers and Handlers as well.
Pets, Adult Babies, Littles, Middles, and Teens are usually the submissive ones in the dynamic, but there are dominant Pets, Adult Babies, Littles, Middles, and Teens.